grey poupon

I went to Pastis once. I saw lil' kim. What did I think? Fast food on fancy plates. I guess there is something to be said about location, but I'd rather not eat in the 4:59 sunday lcbo line. It's funny how every city has their own meatgrinder. This place, although formerly burned down, is no exception. The sheep still flock. And good on them for being able to put a 1500% mark- up on kraft dinner. It reminds me of a time when I saw a man harassing a nice young couple. This guy starts going off about how he is so rich and important, and why he is entitled to this chick at the expense of her man. Never one to turn down some good entertainment, I (and a few friends) focus our attention on the situation. So this guy, and his silent friend, are trying to get some cut. Fair enough. He's all like "I can get you into the best places around the world"... "Have you ever heard of Pastis? its the best restaurant in the world and they know my name"... "look around you, they wouldn't even let these people stand outside"... I start laughing (primarily because we are at lobby- yeah best place ever-, and there was no reason to insult us). He takes offense, and begins to further explain why he is more important than all of us. Once again, fair enough. By now however, its getting late and although I would have loved to stay for a little more comedy its clearly time to go. This guy makes one final attempt by saying something along the lines of "you cant have mccdonalds forever". The BF, who had remained silent until this point, drops some wisdom that had me falling over laughing... "You and your friend, nice people... You got me, I can't compete with you... the difference, you came here and are leaving here alone... me, I may be going to mccdonalds, but I'm leaving with her... and her too".

Moral of the story? this is exactly what some lame in the club in basically anywhere outside of Toronto is saying about the aforementioned yorkville location.

Wack

This has nothing to do with anything in particular except KJI is that dude. The eye window game is always on point. This example demonstrates that sometimes that is all you need.

this makes me hate you less ottawa

There is not much to like about Ottawa. I really could go on for hours about my disdain, but I'mma lean back on this one and spare my fingers the agony. One good thing I will say however, is that there is a little courtyard behind the roche bobois that is home to one of the dopest coffee shops period. I've been told that its name is akin to that of a shop on a lesbian show, but that is beside the point. Sheila and company cook up all kinds of readyrock in house, and have some of the best sandwiches ever. Seriously, I would eat those mf's 2 or 3 times a day (even the vegetarian ones- and I usually don't see the point of eating unless meat is involved). If I ever HAVE to go to that damned town again, I'm gonna fill a suitcase up with those shits and be happy for hours (because I'd probably eat them one after another, then not feel so good because I ate too much and couldn't move, or maybe I'd fall asleep, but then again, I'd probably still feel ok because the sandwiches are that good, but I'd still not feel good due to my gluttonous ways, but then again, it was worth it).

Crack

There are many reasons to go to the market... the peameal bacon sandwich is one of the better ones.

my lady

I've been told that life is about choice, and how you deal with the decisions you make. I'm not mad at that. It seems that everybody is concerned with choice, numbers and options. Me, I find a good thing and run with it. That is why when you say "Guu", I say "a milli". Yeah, I went again... Still Crack

I guess this is what the 24 hour diet looks like...

neglect

For some odd reason I never think of this place. Its like that friend you haven't spoken to in years but you can still chop it up like it was only yesterday... cheers to the lost ones...

Crack

secret place (sorry I had to do it)

Once upon a time Weston was synonymous with the bicycle. Then came crack and the dollar stores. The Loblaws and movie theaters migrated north. Strange place, as the main street is concrete towers while the side streets are lined with large heritage homes. There's a bit of everything in this area (except starbucks). I really wish they would fix the rims at the lions park court though, as the city had a good thing going when the neighbourhood had runs on a daily basis. I'm talking about the area around lawrence, which really has nothing to do with the point of my rant. Anyway, if you travel a little further up towards eglington, there is this korean spot that is the business. It always has tour buses parked outside which is hilarious when you think of the surrounding area being showcased to visitors.

Crack (cooked inside, and definitely served outside)

infernal

I feel like I have to like everything about susur's moneymachine. It's like I'm Andy Lau and Tony Leung is about to introduce me to discipline. My friends love it, so do yours. It's not that I don't like it, its just that its not as good as they think it is.

Can't really decide

why u gotta b like that

I will not lie, I've always enjoyed the food at Terroni. I even put on my LA fam. What I don't understand however, is why I am not allowed to put some friggin parmesean cheese on my damned pizza. It's disrespecting the recipe/ presentation? ok... last time I checked this wasn't l' Ambroisie. Furthermore, I'd be more amicable to your demand had you not offered me a bowl of hot sauce (because in no way will that change the flavor). um... ok

Crack food, Wack execution

Since its been so cold outside, I enjoyed this while in the company of Megatron watching Jack Bauer do his thing

carnage

While on the topic of steak...

Barbarians is my shit. Choice cuts, fondue, and one of the deepest most well- priced lists in the city. PETA can... (insert obligatory negative comment)

Crack

flight school

For years I've kept hearing about this place. Maybe its because I like the sound of the name, or what I've heard about it's location, but it seems I could never avoid hearing how great this place was. I finally got a chance to check it out... all rumors true. Not only was it in a retirement home, but I gotta say that me and my accomplice were the only people in this place that didn't carry a lifeline (which I must say seemed to go over well with the staff, and was reflected in the service). As for our evening, the view of the city was quite nice, but the room really does resemble an airport lounge. The Billecart was good. The food... can't remember what either of us had, not to say that it was bad, it was just ok (which is ok I guess, but sometimes I want things to be more than ok).

The end.

not sure what to say... it's kind of not worth it, but at the same time it's a pretty interesting experience.

Crack/ Wack

and goodnight

Now that this burger craze is in full effect, I'd like to clarify 1 situation. Craft Burger is just as good as it was the last time you went.

Crack

A few rocks and you're living. Because men don't drink martinis.

Hite is my favorite beer. The perfect compliment to fried chicken (true story)... What I don't understand however, is why do some Korean spots have this beer, but I cannot obtain it from any lcbo/ beer store? Why?

i'm gone

I try to avoid going to the east side, but I fucks with this Leslieville place. The heffer may find it a little hit and miss, but they're usually looking to hate for the love of hating and hearing themselves talk. Nobody wants to hear your 2 hour analysis about the intricacies of food anthropology and why everything you've ever had or done is better anyway. I don't, neither does your girl or your friends. Make lobster maki and miami ribs like this and then maybe, maybe we can set aside a biannual lecture.

Crack

This is my Cheers

Crack

I really, really, really like chalupas... I wish I could get them in Canada

Dear

You are...

Wack

why u hate the game?

That's exactly what I was thinking when my parents put me on to this Pizza joint at Weston and Sheppard. The best pizza you've never had in a location you will probably never go... but that's ok, I'm fine keeping it for us Italians (like the World Cup championship and fist pumps)

Crack

large on the streets

There are almost as many parts to Toronto as there are screwfaces. Not sure how many people have a need to venture to Jane between Falstaff and Wilson, but I will say that this Grimey Vietnamese spot is the business. As an added bonus, you will not have to wait/ be stuffed in a little table beside the MGMT doppelganger club. And... Best Fried Rice Ever.

Crack

F outta here

Queen East is supposedly cool. So is exposed brick, wood, and heritage buildings. So is wearing non- prescription glasses. Charcuterie is that new new. This place has it all... now if they could only get some decent food

Wack

blue flowers

There are 2 things I do every time I visit the ROM... see the dinosaurs, and go to C-5. Serious food for u, glam for the bi. Check for that citrus sake drink (I heard its pretty ok).

shouts to the 96 bulls starting 5

Crack

Bruce Lee

ok so I'm in the financial district. oh wait... Forte. In fact this place is deserving of a trip to towerland all in itself. Kung Fu Chefn' at its finest. Don't Sleep.

Crack